Boundaries Aren’t Bad

International Day for the Abolition of Slavery

Boundaries help us to be the best we can be—in God’s image. They let us see God as he really is. They enable us to negotiate life, fulfilling our responsibilities and requirements. 

~Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

When people rose to abolish slavery, they formally acknowledged the universal truth of the dignity of all human persons. Slavery is an extreme boundary violation of this dignity. God endows each person with unique gifts to fulfill his or her personal mission. But when we operate in this world with poor personal boundaries, we tarnish our gifts and compromise our dignity.

Pleasing others, lacking clarity about who we are and what we want, allowing others to enter our homes or psyches with ill effects weakens us and the entire Body of Christ. Poor boundaries make it increasingly difficult to authentically love others. Our sense of self can become so fragmented that there is not enough left to gift to another. We’ve let the world and others “pick our orchard.” Then there are no apples left when we want to give one to a person of our choosing.

Isn’t that a self-imposed form of modern-day slavery?

Breaking free starts with self-knowledge. God gives us knowledge of ourselves when we seek our fulfillment in him. Slave owners tried to break down their slaves by dehumanizing them. We must stop dehumanizing ourselves by ignoring the unique callings and needs of the soul God has given us. By letting God show us who we truly are, we respect our time, our thoughts, our feelings, and our desires, and we start establishing boundaries to protect them. From that place, we are free persons able to give authentic love to another.

Jesus, so many people wanted a piece of you in your journey on this earth. You modeled how to love others while also staying connected to your Father. Help us have the right balance between being generous and taking needed time for ourselves.

To Ponder: How healthy are your boundaries? What can you do to improve them so you can authentically love the people God has put in your life?
~ Christina M. Weber

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