Redeemed by Love

Motherhood changed from a role into a calling… a nameless something so enormous that a great deal had to be sacrificed for it.

~Anna Quindlen

IA favorite expression of mine is “I’m slow but I get it eventually.” That colloquialism played out with motherhood. We were married seven years before we had children. I believed I had no maternal instinct. All around me our cousins were having children. I felt left out, wanting to be a part of that club, but I also felt pressured. I was still too much of a child myself to take on motherhood. I had goals to accomplish and, if all happened according to plan, then I’d have children by the time I was twenty-nine. Right on schedule I announced to my husband that it was time.

When Stephen was born I fell in love. Totally. Nothing existed except for this baby. I still count those first six weeks as one of the happiest periods of my life. I was amazed how easy it was to put away everything for which I had worked so hard. Nothing else mattered.

I had been given a gift of love. Sacrificial love. I had been wandering aimlessly in a spiritual desert for years, still attending Mass but leaving God behind in church. But he never left me. Even though I did things my way all those years he still poured his love into me, unlocking a fierce mothering instinct.

I would spend nine more years in that desert. But the road back home had already been laid out.

Thank you, Lord, for the gift of children and the love they release in the world around us all.

To Ponder:  How have your children brought you close to God?

~ Susan Bailey

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