Motherhood changed from a role into a calling… a nameless something so enormous that a great deal had to be sacrificed for it.

~Anna Quindlen

IA favorite expression of mine is “I’m slow but I get it eventually.” That colloquialism played out with motherhood. We were married seven years before we had children. I believed I had no maternal instinct. All around me our cousins were having children. I felt left out, wanting to be a part of that club, but I also felt pressured. I was still too much of a child myself to take on motherhood. I had goals to accomplish and, if all happened according to plan, then I’d have children by the time I was twenty-nine. Right on schedule I announced to my husband that it was time.

When Stephen was born I fell in love. Totally. Nothing existed except for this baby. I still count those first six weeks as one of the happiest periods of my life. I was amazed how easy it was to put away everything for which I had worked so hard. Nothing else mattered.

I had been given a gift of love. Sacrificial love. I had been wandering aimlessly in a spiritual desert for years, still attending Mass but leaving God behind in church. But he never left me. Even though I did things my way all those years he still poured his love into me, unlocking a fierce mothering instinct.

I would spend nine more years in that desert. But the road back home had already been laid out.

Thank you, Lord, for the gift of children and the love they release in the world around us all.

To Ponder:  How have your children brought you close to God?

~ Susan Bailey

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Celebrate the feast of Christmas every day, even every moment in the interior temple of your spirit, remaining like a baby in the bosom of the heavenly Father, where you will be reborn each moment in the Divine Word, Jesus Christ.

~ Saint Paul of the Cross

All acts of love require a sublimation of the will. Sometimes it is easy: the baby cries and the mother picks her up, holds her, and offers food or comfort. Sometimes it is not: climbing the stairs one more time at the end of the day without gritting my teeth can be a challenge, even if it is because I didn’t get to kiss them good night. What I have to do to save souls may mean climbing the stairs, washing the dishes, or running the extra errand. It doesn’t feel like love or the means by which a soul is saved, except if we consider that perhaps the soul being rescued from sloth or indifference is our own.

Family life requires daily sublimation of the soul for the good of others, and it frequently includes tedium like folding socks, plunging toilets, and redoing work done yesterday. If it is not done for love’s sake, the person doing it will become bitter, feel used, and grow resentment where love should be. 

Preparing for Christmas can feel like one long to-do list if we forget the reason why the gifts, celebrations, cards, decorations, and music exist. 

Love makes sacrifice possible. Perfect love makes it a joy. 

Lord, let me be an instrument of love beyond measure during this crazy holiday time.

To Ponder: In Jesus, God humbled himself to become a helpless child. That is the reason for Christmas. Mary’s obedience, her fiat, is also a gift to us of untold beauty and a reminder that all we do for others, we do for Christ. Therefore whatever we do should be done out of love.
~ Sherry Antonetti

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Preach the Gospel at all times; when necessary use words. 

~ Attributed to Saint Francis of Assisi

We’ve all heard someone say, “I try to share my faith by the way I live,” and there’s an important truth there. We are told that the early Christians were notable for their love and care for one another; if we are aiming to follow Christ as we should, people will notice the effect of it in our lives. If we are not aiming to follow Christ people will see that, too, and it won’t matter what we say because they won’t see any reason to listen to us. At best we will be ignored, and at worst we will cast doubt upon the faith because of the difference between what we say and what we do. 

But suppose we are aiming to follow Christ, we are praying, and we are trying to show God’s love and mercy to those around us. Eventually, someone is going to notice and ask about it. “How do you always stay so calm?” “You’re always so helpful.” “Thank you for letting me vent—you’re so good  about that.” “Things are so hard for you, but you keep going. How do you manage it?” “You go to church, don’t you?” 

It is easy to respond to comments like these by hemming and hawing and saying nothing to the point, but Saint Peter tells us to always be ready to give an answer. If you can’t think of anything else, try a simple, “God is good!”

O Holy Spirit, teach my heart to know what to say when I’m called upon to give an answer.

To Ponder: Have you recently remained silent when you could have used words? What could you have said?
~ Will Duquette

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The Church is nothing other than “the family of God.” From the beginning, the core of the Church was often constituted by those who had become believers together.

~ Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1655

Companion planting is the practice of growing plants side by side where, together, they enhance each other’s development. Some plant combinations will enhance mutual root development, others protect the pairing from harm by pests or diseases, and some combinations increase fruitfulness by attracting pollinators.

Companion planting has been an agricultural practice for centuries. The Benedictines developed our modern-day horticultural practices centuries ago when monastery land was often marginal at best for food production. If we look at our lives, we see that we have a lot of companions, too. Those whom God has planted in our spiritual garden to help develop our roots in faith, protect our minds and hearts from evil, and increase our fruitfulness at being Christians. These companions are our spouses, parents, children, friends, and acquaintances who, each in his or her own way, help us to grow.

It’s easy to see how our God planned for things to work together for the good of all—in plants and people.

Thank you, Lord, for the Church family that helps me to prosper for your good.

To Ponder: We have human companions and spiritual companions. Who in your life now, and who in the past, has been significant in your becoming who you are today? Who have  you companioned—children or adults—on their faith journey? How have you done it and how has it affected your life?
~ Margaret Rose Realy, Obl. O.S.B

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Saint Lucy

Foolish is he who follows the pleasures of this world, because these are always fleeting and bring much pain. The only true pleasure is that which comes to us through faith.

~ Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati

Today, as part of the Church’s liturgical cycle, we honor a young Italian teen named Lucy. She was martyred for faith and purity in the year 304. As the “new religion on the block,” we can imagine the pressures and the manipulation that was going on between the pagan Romans, the Jews, and those adhering to true love and the call to a higher ideal. Given all the versions of twenty-first-century paganism in our world, you might say it’s the same or maybe even worse today.

In the community where we live, we know younger families who have done their best to live their Catholic faith and pass it on to their teens ready to leave the cocoon. In a few cases, it doesn’t take much to see apathy about faith in the teens: clothes worn that are a bit much and boyfriends who don’t have nearly the same values as the family the girls come from.

Saint John Paul II spoke to men: “God has assigned as a duty to every man the dignity of every woman.” And to questioning and restless young women he said, “The most beautiful and stirring adventure that can happen to you is the personal meeting with Jesus, who is the only one who gives real meaning to our lives.”

Saint Lucy, pray for the young people in our lives. Appear to them in their thoughts and meditations. Speak to them when they are invited to surrender their body and emotions to someone outside of marriage.

To Ponder: What can you do today to help teens and young people? Really live the faith. Love the faith. Pray hard.
~ Deacon Tom Fox

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Our Lady of Guadalupe

Let not your heart be disturbed.

~Our Lady of Guadalupe to Juan Diego

These earliest days of December can be such a manic time.  We’ve finished with the great ordeal of Thanksgiving and have begun to shop for Christmas. The lists seem so long, the money only stretches so far, and the expectations seem so outsized. There are decorations to put up and parties to host or attend, and it all seems like so much. 

At the same time, we have entered into Advent, a season that entices us toward quietness and reflection as we long, like a pregnant woman, for deliverance of our heavy burdens.  “He shall be peace,” says the prophet Micah, and we “wait in joyful hope” for the coming of something so extraordinary that it makes our efforts seem shortsighted and small: the great gift, peace beyond all understanding. 

Peace—real peace—is the forever plea from a people in wounded exile, forever looking outside of itself for that gift. But what if the process of peace depends in part on our ability to recognize it? A gift that cannot be recognized as such can often seem disguised as heavy load.

A willingness to remain undisturbed, trusting in Christ, is a necessary component of peace. It is a great gift.

Our Lady of Guadalupe, in this hope and expectation, help us to be open to the gifted grace of trust that we might begin to know peace and thus begin to better know Jesus.

To Ponder: Take a stroll through your everyday surroundings and see them through the eyes of someone as destitute as Saint Juan Diego before Mary spoke to him. Identify all of the gifts around you. Say thank you. Peace begins right there.
~ Elizabeth Scalia

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We should not accept in silence the benefactions of God, but return thanks for them.

~Saint Basil the Great

My dad always told me, “It’s lonely at the top.” When I was younger I lived to do musical theater, and every year I had the leading role. This was my greatest joy, and at the same time, I would feel the jealousy from other girls. I was cut out from cliques within the cast, and I felt a real isolation. My greatest gift also became my greatest burden. 

I find this is usually true in life. We are all blessed with different gifts—talents, brilliance, financial abundance, beauty—and often our greatest gifts have a flip side and become our heaviest crosses. The brilliant mind suffers the torment of incessant thinking to the point of compulsivity.  The wealthy one must constantly question what to do with his money. The beautiful woman may be lusted after. 

Yet all of these remain gifts from our heavenly Father out  of his love and goodness. The question is always how can we embrace them with humble gratitude while joyfully carrying the crosses that coincide with them. 

My little Columbian grandmother always had a beautiful response whenever we would compliment a gift she had. “Mina, you are so funny!” “Mina, you’re such a good  cook!” “Mina, we love your house!” No matter what it was we praised her for, she would simply look to the sky with a grin, then look us in the eye and say in her broken English,  “He give it to me.”

Thank you, Jesus, for the abundant gifts you have blessed me with in my life. Help me to embrace everything—my crosses as well as my blessings—in gratitude and joy.

To Ponder: Do you recognize the gifts that God has given you in your life? Just for today can you accept your burdens as being a natural part of life?
~ Kara Klein

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Children are great imitators, so give them something great to imitate.

~Anonymous

I vividly remember being four years old and sitting on the  bathroom counter watching my dad shave. He would put a  tiny bit of shaving cream on my face and I would squeeze my  lips together, squish my face to the left, push my tongue into my right cheek and shave with the toothpaste squeezer, doing every movement just like my dad. I was learning through imitation. (I hope, though, I will never have to shave my face!) 

If we learn through imitation, then in our spiritual lives, too, we need to be great imitators. Imagine walking in the footsteps of one who loved God more than self, one who sacrificed everything to teach others of the Lord’s love for each individual person, one who gave up everything to live the will of the Father. 

How blessed we are to have many great saints whom we can imitate! As a wife and a mom, I look to the beautiful women saints who lived ordinary lives with extraordinary grace. These women allowed their hearts to be transformed so they could love like Christ. They did this through prayer, meditation on the Word of God, frequenting the sacraments, and receiving holy Communion with a fervent devotion. 

If you can see yourself imitating wonderful women saints then you can see yourself imitating Christ.

Lord, help me imitate the virtues of the saints.

To Ponder: Today, ask Saint Catherine of Siena to help you to learn to love like Christ or spend five minutes meditating on Psalm 67 and, like Saint Gianna Molla, praise God for all your blessings. Or, take an extra moment before receiving holy Communion and follow Saint Mother Teresa and invite the Lord to increase your tender love for him in the Eucharist.
~Kelly M. Wahlquist

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It is more blessed to give than to receive.

~Acts 20:35

What do we do with society’s gift-giving extravaganza at Christmas? It’s Jesus’s birthday, but the presents under the tree are the real focus, especially for the kids. The first is unwrapped and then another and another, faster and faster. The scene resembles a school of sharks going into a feeding frenzy. Almost instantly the thrill is gone and the room is filled with crumpled wrapping paper even though it took so long to wrap them all.

Rather than following the Grinch and eliminating the gifts, our family set rules to make them more meaningful. First, we try to select at least some gifts or stocking-stuffers that will help people develop their relationship with Jesus: books, CDs, videos, Rosaries, etc. Then, on Christmas morning before we go to the tree, we gather at the manger, sing a carol, read a brief scripture, and thank God for Jesus, the greatest gift of all. Then we open one gift at a time, with everyone paying attention to what others get (this teaches patience!). And we don’t open everything on the twenty-fifth. Rather, we leave some presents wrapped and under the tree for the other eleven days of Christmas (another lesson in patience!). We get more prayers, readings, and carols around the manger this way.

So we have three options: (1) just acquiesce to society’s way; (2) say “bah-humbug!” with Scrooge; or (3) take the traditional Catholic approach and press the custom into the service of the Gospel. I say Catholics have more fun.

Jesus, you are the greatest gift of all. Let us honor you by giving  of ourselves.

To Ponder: What can you do in your family to make Christmas gift-giving more meaningful?
~ Dr. Marcellino D’Ambrosio

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Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception

For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do.

~Romans 7:19

Mary the Mother of Jesus was both conceived free from original sin and preserved from sin throughout her life. That’s the reason for today’s feast, and for we who struggle with our sins, it can be an overwhelming feast. Keenly aware of our utter inability to hold it together for half an hour, let alone a whole lifetime, it can feel like today is the commemoration of an impossible standard.

There are three reminders that can help us who have difficulties grow more comfortable with this feast:

• Mary was prepared for her place in salvation history, not yours or mine. We who must wait for eternity to shake off the last vestiges of sin can trust that God has, all the same, made a way for each of us that is what our souls need most.
• Salvation is not a contest, it’s a gift. Mary is not a disdainful victor, looking down on us losers. She’s our very champion. We’re on the same team, and we can be helped by those members who are stronger than ourselves.
• Sinlessness doesn’t mean freedom from mishap. Though without sin, Mary lost track of her own Son for three days—and he was a boy without sin. Not all of our apparent failings are signs of guilt.

For those of us who find the Immaculate Conception easy to understand and contemplate, today is a good day to pray for those who have difficulties with the Catholic faith.

Mary, Mother of God, when I am sinful and weak, stand in my place for a while and pray that God would strengthen me.

To Ponder: What is your relationship with the Immaculate Conception? Is it easy for you? Comfortable? Consoling? Or does it challenge you in some way?
~ Jennifer Fitz

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