All posts by Andrea Perry

Special Advent Reflections

The season of Advent is upon us. The celebration of the coming of Jesus Christ. Here you will find reflections to help you prepare for Christmas. These daily passages are shared with you from a variety of sources and will begin on November 29, 2020. We hope you will share these reflections with others. From all of us at Diocesan, God’s many blessings to you.

Discussion Questions Session 5, Talk 1

Personal Reflection & Discussion Questions:

1. How do I sense God moving in my life towards greater hope and freedom?

2. How can I give these movements towards something added space and time to grow?

3. Do I tend to use defenses to block the experience of emotional pain or emotional closeness more? What do I fear would happen if I relied less on these defenses?

4. Who can I turn to walk with me on my journey of healing?

5. How does God want me to see and relate to myself?

6. What might God want to make new in or through me?

Discussion Questions Session 5, Talk 2

Personal Reflection & Discussion Questions:

  1. What can I do to bring healing to my parish; to our Archdiocese?
  2. What patterns do I want to avoid falling into after this retreat?
  3. When in my day might I be able to reserve sometime for prayer? For what amount of time is God calling me to pray?
  4. What are the patterns of thinking that I want to place into my life?
  5. How can I become more aware of God’s gifts in my life? Name three specific things for which you are grateful. How can I practice gratitude each day?
  6. Who do I know that needs encouragement? What can I do to provide encouragement to those around me?
  7. In what areas do I need to have more hope? What practical steps can I take to be more hopeful in times of adversity?
  8. What new thinking did I learn or new mindset do I have as a result of this retreat? What can I do to make this a lasting mindset?
  9. What specific thing can I do to be an instrument of God’s healing love in the world around me?

Healing and Hope Session 5, talk 2

Session 5, Talk 2: Moving Forward with Truth,
Encouragement and Gratitude
Fr. Joseph Jerome Bambenek,
Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis

Talk Outline

I. Spiritual Life is like a Football Game

A.. The ultimate goal is to make it to the end zone. When you are playing offense there is an opponent that is not
only trying to keep you from getting into that ultimate end zone but will also take cheap shots whenever they can, to hurt you.
B. God made us to have teammates, to help us get to the end zone.
C. Success in the spiritual life includes having both a good offense and a good defense.

II. Being Intentional Going Forward from the Retreat: Defending against the threats

A. The Devil will try to take back what he lost on this retreat.
B. We have new strength to fight against temptation. We have a new set of brakes, but we need to use them.
C. It can be very easy to fall back into the same patterns of life. We need to be proactive to fight against falling back into old patterns.
D. If we are looking to make lasting positive changes in our lives it is important to be careful of what
we are allowing into our lives.

III. Whatever healing or freedom we might have experienced, this retreat should open up some space and energy in our mental and emotional lives. What to do with it?

A. Prayer

    1. We can use any extra mental space and energy to deepen our relationship with God.
    2. Just like anyone who loves us, God wants us to spend time with Him every day.
      1. Francis de Sales, Introduction to the
        Devout Life: Pray an hour a day.
      2. If we recognize that we should be praying more than we currently are… the decision will most likely be put into action if we have a plan, if we make an appointment with God like we would make an appointment with anyone else of importance.
      3. Praying with the Bible
        1. Synod virtual Praying with Scripture Series (www.archspm.org/synod)
        2. St. Paul instructs us how we should invest our mental energy: “Brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8)
    1. We can engage in spontaneous prayers as we go around throughout the day.

B. Gratitude

    1. A second way that we can develop a new narrative in Jesus is by approaching life with a mindset of gratitude or deepened gratitude.  That can start with a spontaneous prayer of thanks but then go deeper.
    2. “Prayer joined to sacrifice constitutes the most powerful force in human history.” Pope Saint John Paul II (12 January 1994 General Audience)
    3. Gratitude plays an important role in our experience of love.  When we are grateful it helps to stimulate an   increase in the theological virtue of charity, of love.
    4. Charity is a gift that comes ultimately from the God who is love, the first seeds of which were placed in our hearts by the Holy Spirit at baptism.  Depending on how we respond to the love given us, it can expand or shrink.
    5. “Only through an encounter with love can we truly heal.” – Dr. Bob Schuchts
    6. One way to cultivate gratitude in our hearts is to make a list each day of the things which we were  grateful for that day.

C. Encouragement and Truth

    1. A third way to develop a new narrative in Jesus is to go forth with eyes of encouragement and truth.
    2. Christian encouragement is communicating the truth to someone in their circumstances, including their relationship with God, through intentional words or actions directed toward another, or through our life witness, which stimulates an increase in the virtues of hope and of courage or fortitude.
    3. A shorthand definition of hope is faith, lived out over time and through adversity. … Hope is what helps us persevere when we have to wait.

IV. If we live out of a mindset of Jesus, rather than a mindset  shaped by lies and wounds and constricted by tourniquets, then we can emerge from this retreat as instruments of God’s healing love in the world.

Healing and Hope Session 5, talk 1

Session 5, Talk 1: Next Steps in the Process of Healing
Dan Stokman, Novare Counseling

Talk Outline

I. Slow down and situate ourselves

A. Personal story
B. Importance of emotional honesty

1. Self
2. Others
3. God

C. God wants to meet us where we are at
D. Is there a deeper need for healing?
E. Discover, name and feel things more deeply
F. Deeper desire for healing; newness

1. “See I am doing something new! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive it? In the desert I make a way, in the wasteland, rivers.” – Isaiah 43:19
2. “The one who sat on the throne said, ‘Behold, I make all things new.’ Then he said, ‘Write these words down, for they are trustworthy and true.” Revelation 21:5

G. God acts; we respond

1. How do we respond to this healing?

II. How do we travel into the work of deeper healing?

A. Curiosity, noticing and then becoming interested

1. Story: noticing daughter’s new interest in Christmas Jazz music

B. Understanding the Origin of Why we do what we do?

1. Can lead to self-compassion
2. Exploring the answer may require the
accompaniment of a therapist
3. Not for the purpose of blaming
4. Can be resistant to exploring the origins

C. We are not our wounds; we are not our
defenses/tourniquets

III. Defenses

A. Means to survive, but then become problems
B. We all have them
C. They disconnect us from reality, selves and others
D. Block healthy growth that wants to happen, to heal and to become who God created us to b

1. Story of the parasitical vine in the pine tree at first house

E. We can resist giving up defenses and cling to what is familiar

1. Doing so is vulnerable
2. Do not want to feel what is underneath

F. Types of Defenses

1. Intrapersonal- how I relate to self
2. Interpersonal – how I relate to others
– block closeness with others even when there is not a current threat in a relationship
– Road to Emmaus story: did not recognize due to own ideas
– Defenses can keep us blinded

G. Allowing another to walk with us allows for clearer vision

IV. Connection with others as companions

A. An engine around hope and desire to overcome the resistance
B. We have to do the work, but we can’t do it alone
C. A therapist can help with:

1. Healing the hurts of the past
2. Letting go of the unhealthy coping patterns
3. Healing trauma/wounds
4. Experiencing forgiveness of betrayal
5. Moving into a place of freedom where you
experience your true self

D. Entering into therapy can bring mixed emotions

1. Bad or mixed past experiences
2. Lowering our defenses

V. What to look for in a therapist: is it the right fit?

A. It is a relational process; drawing near and entering into the other’s suffering

1. To be with and for the person in the possibility of newness
2. Connect well; feel warmth and caring
3. Competence is important
– Based on your experience, not their letters after their name
4. Have Voice in Therapy

B. Agreement on goals
C. Agreement on method
D. Faith tradition of Therapists

VI. Materials on the Synod website (www.archspm.org/synod)

A. Therapists
B. Books and online resources

Mary Undoer of Knots – Novena

Tap here to join us at praymorenovenas.com

We all have some “knots” in our lives… and Mary can untie them!

The devotion to Mary, Undoer of Knots has become more popular ever since Pope Francis encouraged the devotion in Argentina, and then spoke about it during his first year as pontiff.

The theology of the devotion actually goes back to the second century. Saint Irenaeus wrote that, “The knot of Eve’s disobedience was untied by the obedience of Mary; what the virgin Eve bound by her unbelief, the Virgin Mary loosened by her faith.” Mary’s faith unties the knot of sin! So we will pray that the Blessed Virgin Mary will intercede for us all, to untie the knots of sin in our lives – so that we may be purified and ever closer to God.


Mary Undoer of Knots Novena Prayers Mary Undoer of Knots Novena – Day 1

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Dearest Holy Mother, Most Holy Mary, you undo the knots that suffocate your children. Extend your merciful hands to me. I entrust to You today this knot [mention your request here] and all the negative consequences that it provokes in my life.

Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me.

Virgin Mary, Mother of fair love, Mother who never refuses to come to the aid of a child in need, Mother whose hands never cease to serve your beloved children because they are moved by the divine love and immense mercy that exist in your heart, cast your compassionate eyes upon me and see the snarl of knots that exists in my life. You know very well how desperate I am, my pain, and how I am bound by these knots. Mary, Mother to whom God entrusted the undoing of the knots in the lives of his children, I entrust into your hands the ribbon of my life. No one, not even the evil one himself, can take it away from your precious care. In your hands there is no knot that cannot be undone. Powerful Mother, by your grace and intercessory power with Your Son and My Liberator, Jesus, take into your hands today this knot.

[Mention your request here]

I beg you to undo it for the glory of God, once for all. You are my hope.

O my Lady, you are the only consolation God gives me, the fortification of my feeble strength, the enrichment of my destitution, and, with Christ, the freedom from my chains. Hear my plea. Keep me, guide me, protect me, o safe refuge! Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me. Amen. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.


Mary Undoer of Knots Novena – Day 2

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Mary, Beloved Mother, channel of all grace, I return to You today my heart, recognizing that I am a sinner in need of your help. I entrust into Your hands this knot [mention your request here] which keeps me from reflecting the glory of God.

Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me.

Virgin Mary, Mother of fair love, Mother who never refuses to come to the aid of a child in need, Mother whose hands never cease to serve your beloved children because they are moved by the divine love and immense mercy that exist in your heart, cast your compassionate eyes upon me and see the snarl of knots that exists in my life. You know very well how desperate I am, my pain, and how I am bound by these knots. Mary, Mother to whom God entrusted the undoing of the knots in the lives of his children, I entrust into your hands the ribbon of my life. No one, not even the evil one himself, can take it away from your precious care. In your hands there is no knot that cannot be undone. Powerful Mother, by your grace and intercessory power with Your Son and My Liberator, Jesus, take into your hands today this knot.

[Mention your request here]

I beg you to undo it for the glory of God, once for all. You are my hope.

O my Lady, you are the only consolation God gives me, the fortification of my feeble strength, the enrichment of my destitution, and, with Christ, the freedom from my chains. Hear my plea. Keep me, guide me, protect me, o safe refuge! Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me. Amen.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.


Mary Undoer of Knots Novena  – Day 3

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Meditating Mother, Queen of heaven, in whose hands the treasures of the King are found, turn your merciful eyes upon me today. I entrust into your holy hands this knot in my life [mention your request here] and all the rancor and resentment it has caused in me.

Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me.

Virgin Mary, Mother of fair love, Mother who never refuses to come to the aid of a child in need, Mother whose hands never cease to serve your beloved children because they are moved by the divine love and immense mercy that exist in your heart, cast your compassionate eyes upon me and see the snarl of knots that exists in my life. You know very well how desperate I am, my pain, and how I am bound by these knots. Mary, Mother to whom God entrusted the undoing of the knots in the lives of his children, I entrust into your hands the ribbon of my life. No one, not even the evil one himself, can take it away from your precious care. In your hands there is no knot that cannot be undone. Powerful Mother, by your grace and intercessory power with Your Son and My Liberator, Jesus, take into your hands today this knot.

[Mention your request here]

I beg you to undo it for the glory of God, once for all. You are my hope.

O my Lady, you are the only consolation God gives me, the fortification of my feeble strength, the enrichment of my destitution, and, with Christ, the freedom from my chains. Hear my plea. Keep me, guide me, protect me, o safe refuge! Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me. Amen. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.


Mary Undoer of Knots Novena – Day 4

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Dearest Holy Mother, you are generous with all who seek you, have mercy on me. I entrust into your hands this knot which robs the peace of my heart, paralyzes my soul and keeps me from going to my Lord and serving Him with my life.

Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me.

Virgin Mary, Mother of fair love, Mother who never refuses to come to the aid of a child in need, Mother whose hands never cease to serve your beloved children because they are moved by the divine love and immense mercy that exist in your heart, cast your compassionate eyes upon me and see the snarl of knots that exists in my life. You know very well how desperate I am, my pain, and how I am bound by these knots. Mary, Mother to whom God entrusted the undoing of the knots in the lives of his children, I entrust into your hands the ribbon of my life. No one, not even the evil one himself, can take it away from your precious care. In your hands there is no knot that cannot be undone. Powerful Mother, by your grace and intercessory power with Your Son and My Liberator, Jesus, take into your hands today this knot.

[Mention your request here]

I beg you to undo it for the glory of God, once for all. You are my hope.

O my Lady, you are the only consolation God gives me, the fortification of my feeble strength, the enrichment of my destitution, and, with Christ, the freedom from my chains. Hear my plea. Keep me, guide me, protect me, o safe refuge! Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me. Amen.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.


Mary Undoer of Knots Novena  – Day 5

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Mother, Undoer of Knots, generous and compassionate, I come to You today to once again entrust this knot [mention your request here] in my life to you and to ask the divine wisdom to undo, under the light of the Holy Spirit, this snarl of problems.

Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me.

Virgin Mary, Mother of fair love, Mother who never refuses to come to the aid of a child in need, Mother whose hands never cease to serve your beloved children because they are moved by the divine love and immense mercy that exist in your heart, cast your compassionate eyes upon me and see the snarl of knots that exists in my life. You know very well how desperate I am, my pain, and how I am bound by these knots. Mary, Mother to whom God entrusted the undoing of the knots in the lives of his children, I entrust into your hands the ribbon of my life. No one, not even the evil one himself, can take it away from your precious care. In your hands there is no knot that cannot be undone. Powerful Mother, by your grace and intercessory power with Your Son and My Liberator, Jesus, take into your hands today this knot.

[Mention your request here]

I beg you to undo it for the glory of God, once for all. You are my hope.

O my Lady, you are the only consolation God gives me, the fortification of my feeble strength, the enrichment of my destitution, and, with Christ, the freedom from my chains. Hear my plea. Keep me, guide me, protect me, o safe refuge! Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me. Amen. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.


Mary Undoer of Knots Novena – Day 6

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Queen of Mercy, I entrust to you this knot in my life [mention your request here] and I ask you to give me a heart that is patient until you undo it.

Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me.

Virgin Mary, Mother of fair love, Mother who never refuses to come to the aid of a child in need, Mother whose hands never cease to serve your beloved children because they are moved by the divine love and immense mercy that exist in your heart, cast your compassionate eyes upon me and see the snarl of knots that exists in my life. You know very well how desperate I am, my pain, and how I am bound by these knots. Mary, Mother to whom God entrusted the undoing of the knots in the lives of his children, I entrust into your hands the ribbon of my life. No one, not even the evil one himself, can take it away from your precious care. In your hands there is no knot that cannot be undone. Powerful Mother, by your grace and intercessory power with Your Son and My Liberator, Jesus, take into your hands today this knot.

[Mention your request here]

I beg you to undo it for the glory of God, once for all. You are my hope.

O my Lady, you are the only consolation God gives me, the fortification of my feeble strength, the enrichment of my destitution, and, with Christ, the freedom from my chains. Hear my plea. Keep me, guide me, protect me, o safe refuge! Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me. Amen.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.


Mary Undoer of Knots Novena  – Day 7

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Mother Most Pure, I come to You today to beg you to undo this knot in my life [mention your request here] and free me from the snares of evil.

Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me.

Virgin Mary, Mother of fair love, Mother who never refuses to come to the aid of a child in need, Mother whose hands never cease to serve your beloved children because they are moved by the divine love and immense mercy that exist in your heart, cast your compassionate eyes upon me and see the snarl of knots that exists in my life. You know very well how desperate I am, my pain, and how I am bound by these knots. Mary, Mother to whom God entrusted the undoing of the knots in the lives of his children, I entrust into your hands the ribbon of my life. No one, not even the evil one himself, can take it away from your precious care. In your hands there is no knot that cannot be undone. Powerful Mother, by your grace and intercessory power with Your Son and My Liberator, Jesus, take into your hands today this knot.

[Mention your request here]

I beg you to undo it for the glory of God, once for all. You are my hope.

O my Lady, you are the only consolation God gives me, the fortification of my feeble strength, the enrichment of my destitution, and, with Christ, the freedom from my chains. Hear my plea. Keep me, guide me, protect me, o safe refuge! Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me. Amen. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.


Mary Undoer of Knots Novena – Day 8

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Virgin Mother of God, overflowing with mercy, have mercy on your child and undo this knot [mention your request here] in my life.

Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me.

Virgin Mary, Mother of fair love, Mother who never refuses to come to the aid of a child in need, Mother whose hands never cease to serve your beloved children because they are moved by the divine love and immense mercy that exist in your heart, cast your compassionate eyes upon me and see the snarl of knots that exists in my life. You know very well how desperate I am, my pain, and how I am bound by these knots. Mary, Mother to whom God entrusted the undoing of the knots in the lives of his children, I entrust into your hands the ribbon of my life. No one, not even the evil one himself, can take it away from your precious care. In your hands there is no knot that cannot be undone. Powerful Mother, by your grace and intercessory power with Your Son and My Liberator, Jesus, take into your hands today this knot.

[Mention your request here]

I beg you to undo it for the glory of God, once for all. You are my hope.

O my Lady, you are the only consolation God gives me, the fortification of my feeble strength, the enrichment of my destitution, and, with Christ, the freedom from my chains. Hear my plea. Keep me, guide me, protect me, o safe refuge! Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me. Amen.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.


Mary Undoer of Knots Novena  – Day 9

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Most Holy Mary, our Advocate, Undoer of Knots, I come today to thank you for undoing this knot in my life.

You know very well the suffering it has caused me. Thank you for coming, Mother, with your long fingers of mercy to dry the tears in my eyes; you receive me in your arms and make it possible for me to receive once again the divine grace. Mary, Undoer of Knots, dearest Mother, I thank you for undoing the knots in my life. Wrap me in your mantle of love, keep me under your protection, enlighten me with your peace! Amen.

Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me.

Virgin Mary, Mother of fair love, Mother who never refuses to come to the aid of a child in need, Mother whose hands never cease to serve your beloved children because they are moved by the divine love and immense mercy that exist in your heart, cast your compassionate eyes upon me and see the snarl of knots that exists in my life. You know very well how desperate I am, my pain, and how I am bound by these knots. Mary, Mother to whom God entrusted the undoing of the knots in the lives of his children, I entrust into your hands the ribbon of my life. No one, not even the evil one himself, can take it away from your precious care. In your hands there is no knot that cannot be undone. Powerful Mother, by your grace and intercessory power with Your Son and My Liberator, Jesus, take into your hands today this knot.

[Mention your request here]

I beg you to undo it for the glory of God, once for all. You are my hope.

O my Lady, you are the only consolation God gives me, the fortification of my feeble strength, the enrichment of my destitution, and, with Christ, the freedom from my chains. Hear my plea. Keep me, guide me, protect me, o safe refuge! Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me. Amen. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.